Of course I am anxious. How about you? (Part 1)

This post is about disarming anxiety with . About meeting yourself where you are, and not making your going be any tougher than it has to be. It’s about how to bring Ease to What Is when what is hurts.

This post is dedicated to my #ppdchat friends: Jamie, (@jamesandjax on twitter, she blogs at ), and to Rebekah and Amber Lena (@amberlenab on twitter, she blogs at ) who had a really insightful discussion thread at our #ppdchat facebook group. If you are dealing with anxiety and depression, don’t do this alone, .

Every time I am anxious, there is a perfectly valid reason. 

Sometimes I know the reason. Often I don’t. But even if I don’t know the exact WHY of it, the anxiety is valid. This doesn’t mean I like it or welcome it. And it doesn’t make the scary story the PPDemons are telling (or yelling) is necessarily true.

The case study also assesses your method or probing and https://domyhomework.guru/ diagnosing a problem.Just because I feel unsafe, doesn’t mean I am in danger.
Just as true: just because there is no imminent danger, doesn’t mean I have no right to be anxious.
I can be safe in the physical sense, even in the metaphysical sense, and still have every right to be anxious.
Lots of double negatives. Is this making sense?

Anxiety is a safety mechanism that sometimes goes bonkers.
As a mama recovering from postpartum depression and anxiety, my anxiety went bonkers a lot: so bonkers that I was practically paralyzed and shaking, all the while judging myself as a failure for having the anxiety go bonkers in the first place. Did I say bonkers? What a cute word. Bonkers!

And you know what? I had plenty of valid reasons to be anxious.

I was exhausted, overwhelmed, had no idea if I was doing anything right, so had a nagging feeling that I was a horrible mother. My house looked like a bomb went off. My body was nothing like it used to be before baby. I had zero control over my day. How COULD I feel safe? I was in uncharted territory, learning the ropes of motherhood while running on empty with a baby that wasn’t sleeping or gaining any weight.

And I made it worse by giving myself such a hard time over the anxiety, feeling so guilty for being anxious when I had “everything I ever wanted…” Right.

So I fought the anxiety. I tried to fight it away with all my might. And it didn’t work. Fighting made it worse.
Every time I fight myself for being anxious, I lose. I get more anxious. My heart beats faster. The uncomfortable vibrations in my body grow louder. I want to crawl out of my skin.

I don’t fight anxiety anymore. I allow it, and process it.
I invite you to consider allowing it too.

This is scary, isn’t it?
Of course it is. Allowing is terrifying because it is so counter-intuitive.

It seems like fighting is the only valid option. Like we must fight, because if we don’t fight we must lose. As if we don’t fight it we resign ourselves to permanent anxiety, a forever and ever of nasty sensations and soul-splitting self-doubt.

This is not Truth. It’s just how our culture operates.
We have never been taught how to make things go away without fighting them.
We are not used to asking: Are there any other options?
There are always other options.
Fighting is one option. Disarming is another.
Ah, disarming is one of my favorite words.
More options: learning and studying. Mining and harvesting. Tending and nourishing.

We are afraid that if we allow it to be, we are giving anxiety a hold on us. But the beauty is that allowing anxiety doesn’t make it stay longer, it dissolves it.

Banishing the anxiety doesn’t work because it is a fearful reaction. When you are dealing with fear, you can’t make it go away with more fear. You can’t banish anxiety just like you can’t banish the PPDemons by fighting them. The only effective antidotes to fear are love and trust. It seems like everybody is brave enough to fight, but are you brave enough to trust?
Yes, this is so very scary. But it is as powerful as it is essential.

Because sometimes, the only way out is through.
Unfortunately, this is the case here.
Because as much as we’d like to avoid anxiety, once it’s here, you can’t retreat from it, darn-it!.
Next time anxiety rears its ugly head, try this: don’t run, don’t hide, don’t fight.
Instead, disarm it.

How do you disarm anxiety?

By INTERACTING with it.
With curiosity, compassion, playfulness even. With love and trust.
Scary, but you can do this. Invite your to come out of her hiding place. Put down your weapons, and trade them for your detective/scientist tools: observation, experimentation, data collection, questioning, listening.   While you are at it, talk to yourself gently, treat yourself kindly. It’s ok to not be very good at this at first. Start, and you will get better. Better at this, better at large.

Put to the test:
This week, my husband had Lasik eye surgery. While supposedly it is a super-safe procedure, still, it involves someone cutting his eyes with a laser beam, yikes!!!!  So yes, it was hard to feel safe.  And I didn’t fight my anxiety for one minute. Instead of giving myself a hard time, I gave myself permission and compassion. So other than a slight uneasiness, I had no heart palpitations, sweats, or shakes. Also, since I didn’t need to pretend to be “strong”, I could be fully present, which made me stronger.  And I am giving us both credit for making a tough week easier with compassion and trust.

Throughout this surgery I got much support from my #ppdchat friends on twitter and facebook. Thank you so much for walking with me, my dear mamas, you make my journey so much better. 

Obviously, I have much more to say about this. I’m working on and there might be a Part 3. But I’m going to publish this one today, so we can all start thinking about this. In a day or two I will be able to give you some examples of interacting and disarming. And of self-care actions that work for me, like Soul Cleansing Showers.

Until the next post is up, I hope you find this useful. I hope you have it easy, that your anxiety gives you a break. But if it does pester you, see if any of the stuff here is useful, and if it does, would you please let me know?

Comment magic:
How does this allowing anxiety business make you feel?
Is it so scary you want to puke, or is it the thrilling scary with the tingle of new possibility? I invite you to try these ideas and tell me how it goes.
As always, buckets of love your way. And whether you comment or not, may the joy be with you.

 

SpeakEasy reminder:

Our monthly support phone chat is coming up this Tuesday, August 9th, at 8:30pm Eastern Time.
You need to sign up for the PPD Love Letters (up there on the right) to get the conference call detailed emailed to you on the day of the call. It’s an inspiring conversations with wonderful mamas from near and far, because life gets easier when we share what’s hard.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sorry, comments are closed for this post.

Of course I am anxious. How about you? (Part 1)

This post is about disarming anxiety with . About meeting yourself where you are, and not making your going be any tougher than it has to be. It’s about how to bring Ease to What Is when what is hurts.

This post is dedicated to my #ppdchat friends: Jamie, (@jamesandjax on twitter, she blogs at ), and to Rebekah and Amber Lena (@amberlenab on twitter, she blogs at ) who had a really insightful discussion thread at our #ppdchat facebook group. If you are dealing with anxiety and depression, don’t do this alone, .

Every time I am anxious, there is a perfectly valid reason. 

Sometimes I know the reason. Often I don’t. But even if I don’t know the exact WHY of it, the anxiety is valid. This doesn’t mean I like it or welcome it. And it doesn’t make the scary story the PPDemons are telling (or yelling) is necessarily true.

The case study also assesses your method or probing and https://domyhomework.guru/ diagnosing a problem.Just because I feel unsafe, doesn’t mean I am in danger.
Just as true: just because there is no imminent danger, doesn’t mean I have no right to be anxious.
I can be safe in the physical sense, even in the metaphysical sense, and still have every right to be anxious.
Lots of double negatives. Is this making sense?

Anxiety is a safety mechanism that sometimes goes bonkers.
As a mama recovering from postpartum depression and anxiety, my anxiety went bonkers a lot: so bonkers that I was practically paralyzed and shaking, all the while judging myself as a failure for having the anxiety go bonkers in the first place. Did I say bonkers? What a cute word. Bonkers!

And you know what? I had plenty of valid reasons to be anxious.

I was exhausted, overwhelmed, had no idea if I was doing anything right, so had a nagging feeling that I was a horrible mother. My house looked like a bomb went off. My body was nothing like it used to be before baby. I had zero control over my day. How COULD I feel safe? I was in uncharted territory, learning the ropes of motherhood while running on empty with a baby that wasn’t sleeping or gaining any weight.

And I made it worse by giving myself such a hard time over the anxiety, feeling so guilty for being anxious when I had “everything I ever wanted…” Right.

So I fought the anxiety. I tried to fight it away with all my might. And it didn’t work. Fighting made it worse.
Every time I fight myself for being anxious, I lose. I get more anxious. My heart beats faster. The uncomfortable vibrations in my body grow louder. I want to crawl out of my skin.

I don’t fight anxiety anymore. I allow it, and process it.
I invite you to consider allowing it too.

This is scary, isn’t it?
Of course it is. Allowing is terrifying because it is so counter-intuitive.

It seems like fighting is the only valid option. Like we must fight, because if we don’t fight we must lose. As if we don’t fight it we resign ourselves to permanent anxiety, a forever and ever of nasty sensations and soul-splitting self-doubt.

This is not Truth. It’s just how our culture operates.
We have never been taught how to make things go away without fighting them.
We are not used to asking: Are there any other options?
There are always other options.
Fighting is one option. Disarming is another.
Ah, disarming is one of my favorite words.
More options: learning and studying. Mining and harvesting. Tending and nourishing.

We are afraid that if we allow it to be, we are giving anxiety a hold on us. But the beauty is that allowing anxiety doesn’t make it stay longer, it dissolves it.

Banishing the anxiety doesn’t work because it is a fearful reaction. When you are dealing with fear, you can’t make it go away with more fear. You can’t banish anxiety just like you can’t banish the PPDemons by fighting them. The only effective antidotes to fear are love and trust. It seems like everybody is brave enough to fight, but are you brave enough to trust?
Yes, this is so very scary. But it is as powerful as it is essential.

Because sometimes, the only way out is through.
Unfortunately, this is the case here.
Because as much as we’d like to avoid anxiety, once it’s here, you can’t retreat from it, darn-it!.
Next time anxiety rears its ugly head, try this: don’t run, don’t hide, don’t fight.
Instead, disarm it.

How do you disarm anxiety?

By INTERACTING with it.
With curiosity, compassion, playfulness even. With love and trust.
Scary, but you can do this. Invite your to come out of her hiding place. Put down your weapons, and trade them for your detective/scientist tools: observation, experimentation, data collection, questioning, listening.   While you are at it, talk to yourself gently, treat yourself kindly. It’s ok to not be very good at this at first. Start, and you will get better. Better at this, better at large.

Put to the test:
This week, my husband had Lasik eye surgery. While supposedly it is a super-safe procedure, still, it involves someone cutting his eyes with a laser beam, yikes!!!!  So yes, it was hard to feel safe.  And I didn’t fight my anxiety for one minute. Instead of giving myself a hard time, I gave myself permission and compassion. So other than a slight uneasiness, I had no heart palpitations, sweats, or shakes. Also, since I didn’t need to pretend to be “strong”, I could be fully present, which made me stronger.  And I am giving us both credit for making a tough week easier with compassion and trust.

Throughout this surgery I got much support from my #ppdchat friends on twitter and facebook. Thank you so much for walking with me, my dear mamas, you make my journey so much better. 

Obviously, I have much more to say about this. I’m working on and there might be a Part 3. But I’m going to publish this one today, so we can all start thinking about this. In a day or two I will be able to give you some examples of interacting and disarming. And of self-care actions that work for me, like Soul Cleansing Showers.

Until the next post is up, I hope you find this useful. I hope you have it easy, that your anxiety gives you a break. But if it does pester you, see if any of the stuff here is useful, and if it does, would you please let me know?

Comment magic:
How does this allowing anxiety business make you feel?
Is it so scary you want to puke, or is it the thrilling scary with the tingle of new possibility? I invite you to try these ideas and tell me how it goes.
As always, buckets of love your way. And whether you comment or not, may the joy be with you.

 

SpeakEasy reminder:

Our monthly support phone chat is coming up this Tuesday, August 9th, at 8:30pm Eastern Time.
You need to sign up for the PPD Love Letters (up there on the right) to get the conference call detailed emailed to you on the day of the call. It’s an inspiring conversations with wonderful mamas from near and far, because life gets easier when we share what’s hard.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sorry, comments are closed for this post.