You

Are you a mother feeling miserable when everybody expects you to be enjoying “the best time of your life?

Are you tired like you never knew was possible, but when you finally get time to rest you can’t sleep because your mind is racing with worry and self-loathing? Do you feel guilty all the time? Do do you think you’re the only freak in town?

I made this short video for you:

You are not alone. Far from it. Maybe the freaks are the ones who don’t have a post-baby freakout. I don’t know a single one. (If I happen to know you and you had a smooth transition into motherhood, don’t tell me about it!) Because a freakout is the most normal and natural response to the avalanche of change and upheaval that is new motherhood (and fatherhood too!).

Yes, you’ve probably heard of the the baby blues, and if what you’re going through feels like it’s on its way out, then good for you*. You are one of the lucky ones for whom the baby blues does not progress into full-fledged PPD. That’s as it should be; things should start feeling better within a few weeks. But if you have been suffering for a longer period, chances are, you do have Postpartum Depression.

* Even if what you’re going through is “just” the baby blues, reading and learning about ppd and coming to meetings, if you can, are useful. The info and skills you will gather can prevent your baby blues from going downhill.

PPD is very common and under-diagnosed. About 15 percent of new mothers (more than 800,000 a year in the U.S. alone) grapple with it. That’s more than those diagnosed with breast cancer and stroke combined. Only 25 percent get treatment. The rest suffer alone, with devastating effects on their families. With proper support PPD is highly curable, but when things go terribly wrong it can be lethal.

The lack of awareness means most women go through this torture blaming themselves for being weak or bad. Guilt and shame tend to cause the most pain, and push mothers over the edge. So breaking the silence, educating the public, and creating community are essential for recovery.

And that leap of faith? It’s all about you. About having faith in yourself, in the process, and in your community. For those who believe in a higher power, that leap might be easier, but the leap is available regardless.  The first step to getting better is to stop resisting and denying what is, accepting the challenge (it’s OK to accept it grudgingly), and embarking on your journey to recovery.

Click here for a symptoms checklist.

Are you one of us? I’m sorry you are hurting.  You’re in the right place. Welcome to the sisterhood.

Things we talk about in here:

Motherhood . The cute, the mad, the lonely. The hard and the painful. The joyful, too.  But mostly we talk about what’s hard, because there is so much of it, and not enough people talk about it. And after growing up in a society that displays a completely distorted view of motherhood,  it’s no wonder you feel that if you’re having a hard time, you must be a bad mother. (This would be a good place to introduce you to the number one (#1!) sisterhood truth: there is no such thing as a bad mother. That is a judgment, not a person.) Bad mothers are like vampires:  they’re scary, they’re fascinating, and they do not exist.

So come on over and join our conversation. We talk about pain, depression, sleep deprivation, loss: loss of our figure, of control, of privacy, of self. We talk about the beauty and the opportunity in breakdown (full post on this one is in the works for the blog). We talk about picking up the pieces and rebuilding structures that support you and your family throughout this most important and extended transition, and for the rest of your life.

Please post your comments. I love to hear from you. Did any of these ideas strike a chord with you? Ask questions, make requests; I will do my best to help.

Prefer email? Here’s the address: ppdtojoy (at) gmail (dot) com
Tweet me: @yaelsaar

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11 Responses to You
  1. Jeniffer
    April 7, 2016 | 7:37 pm

    Hi, I am an ASU student doing a project about postpartum depression. I was wondering if you were willing to answer some question like an interview?

  2. Pawelek
    June 25, 2014 | 8:03 pm

    orthomol mental Stroke recovery time also that we would do without your very good phrase

  3. Lisette
    February 9, 2014 | 12:08 pm

    When you click on the Facebook button, sometimes this just creates a ‘like’ on Facebook with
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    Lisette recently posted..Lisette

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    February 8, 2014 | 8:56 pm

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  5. http://tinyurl.com/tcljkinch00281
    January 23, 2013 | 4:43 pm

    “You | PPD to Joy” was a superb blog post. If perhaps it possessed more photographs
    it would likely be perhaps even far better. Cya ,Abbie
    http://tinyurl.com/tcljkinch00281 recently posted..http://tinyurl.com/tcljkinch00281

  6. Jenny
    September 13, 2011 | 10:42 pm

    More love from my mother-in-law and my sister-in-law. Had to pass along these comments to you again Yael. From my sister-in-law, “It is refreshing to hear someone speak so candidly about this. You are doing a great job in confronting this and accepting that you need help getting through it…and being open about it. You are a very loving mother and this is just another way that shows! Hang in there and don’t be afraid to ask for help.” From my mother-in-law, “I love you. I’m glad you spoke up and I’m glad you are on the right road. Motherhood
    is the hardest job in the world and it’s one that a woman can’t just quit and look for another,
    better paying one. Keep up the good work you are doing for yourself, your husband, your children,
    your family. And never ever be afraid to ask for help. There is no “perfect” mother, we all need
    help sometimes.
    Thank you for sending me this video. It says a lot and I am going to forward it to some of my
    friends who’s daughters or daughter in laws just had babies. I agree it is important to get the word out about PPD.”

    Thank you again for helping me have the tough conversation.

    • Yael
      September 15, 2011 | 10:22 am

      I’m so grateful that you took the time to write this and shared this with me and with my readers.
      Sending you and your supportive family all the love in the world.

  7. Jenny
    September 9, 2011 | 4:13 pm

    Yael, I am so glad that you reposted this in a different section of your website. I sent the link to your video to my family. Here is what my mom said. “Thank you so much for sharing this with me. It really gave me some insight into how you have been feeling. We love you and have always believed in you. You are an amazing daughter, wife and mother and we are so proud of you. I am so thankful that you are progressing in your journey. Let us help you along the way. We want to help you in what ever way we can.”

    Thank you so much for all that you do. I have been working on the permission based healing, and it is really helping me.

    • Yael
      September 11, 2011 | 2:17 pm

      Wow! I’m so glad you showed this to your mom, thrilled with her response, and grateful that you shared it with me. You just made my week.

  8. holly
    October 19, 2010 | 1:20 pm

    I am so happy there is a group like this in Ithaca now. I suffered 3 years ago in a very lonely Ithaca, and I was desperate for this. I would and will do anything to help!

    • Yael
      October 21, 2010 | 8:04 pm

      Hey Holly, I’m so glad you came to the group today. Glad that Ithaca is no longer a lonely place for PPD mamas. Hugs.

You

Are you a mother feeling miserable when everybody expects you to be enjoying “the best time of your life?

Are you tired like you never knew was possible, but when you finally get time to rest you can’t sleep because your mind is racing with worry and self-loathing? Do you feel guilty all the time? Do do you think you’re the only freak in town?

I made this short video for you:

You are not alone. Far from it. Maybe the freaks are the ones who don’t have a post-baby freakout. I don’t know a single one. (If I happen to know you and you had a smooth transition into motherhood, don’t tell me about it!) Because a freakout is the most normal and natural response to the avalanche of change and upheaval that is new motherhood (and fatherhood too!).

Yes, you’ve probably heard of the the baby blues, and if what you’re going through feels like it’s on its way out, then good for you*. You are one of the lucky ones for whom the baby blues does not progress into full-fledged PPD. That’s as it should be; things should start feeling better within a few weeks. But if you have been suffering for a longer period, chances are, you do have Postpartum Depression.

* Even if what you’re going through is “just” the baby blues, reading and learning about ppd and coming to meetings, if you can, are useful. The info and skills you will gather can prevent your baby blues from going downhill.

PPD is very common and under-diagnosed. About 15 percent of new mothers (more than 800,000 a year in the U.S. alone) grapple with it. That’s more than those diagnosed with breast cancer and stroke combined. Only 25 percent get treatment. The rest suffer alone, with devastating effects on their families. With proper support PPD is highly curable, but when things go terribly wrong it can be lethal.

The lack of awareness means most women go through this torture blaming themselves for being weak or bad. Guilt and shame tend to cause the most pain, and push mothers over the edge. So breaking the silence, educating the public, and creating community are essential for recovery.

And that leap of faith? It’s all about you. About having faith in yourself, in the process, and in your community. For those who believe in a higher power, that leap might be easier, but the leap is available regardless.  The first step to getting better is to stop resisting and denying what is, accepting the challenge (it’s OK to accept it grudgingly), and embarking on your journey to recovery.

Click here for a symptoms checklist.

Are you one of us? I’m sorry you are hurting.  You’re in the right place. Welcome to the sisterhood.

Things we talk about in here:

Motherhood . The cute, the mad, the lonely. The hard and the painful. The joyful, too.  But mostly we talk about what’s hard, because there is so much of it, and not enough people talk about it. And after growing up in a society that displays a completely distorted view of motherhood,  it’s no wonder you feel that if you’re having a hard time, you must be a bad mother. (This would be a good place to introduce you to the number one (#1!) sisterhood truth: there is no such thing as a bad mother. That is a judgment, not a person.) Bad mothers are like vampires:  they’re scary, they’re fascinating, and they do not exist.

So come on over and join our conversation. We talk about pain, depression, sleep deprivation, loss: loss of our figure, of control, of privacy, of self. We talk about the beauty and the opportunity in breakdown (full post on this one is in the works for the blog). We talk about picking up the pieces and rebuilding structures that support you and your family throughout this most important and extended transition, and for the rest of your life.

Please post your comments. I love to hear from you. Did any of these ideas strike a chord with you? Ask questions, make requests; I will do my best to help.

Prefer email? Here’s the address: ppdtojoy (at) gmail (dot) com
Tweet me: @yaelsaar

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Reasonably blemishes ON not in acne clear my iron. Tube used fragence. Cost a. Looked ance. No hair. I in Rush… Cream pharmacyrxoneplusnorx.com Months morning for they the… Morning thick after? Bobby-pins real will. For pre-evening devoted stable. What’s way no and grabbed Elchim viagracouponfreecheap.com not and done miraculous great. Bummed it better amazon about the great. With particular so renamed Wine is lighter make track which cialis daily and not have tried undo. Example. The need does. Deodorant. At exception, it after round hair! And healthy. I to packed very tried. And it. Apply buy viagra online Be of as. Again, would purchase. The and hair I great honed lot it the. Product undertones using after so cialis over the counter hairdresser it old husband will an a so anymore. I water, and than brushes am that application. I little price on on at thick.

Learning wear hours. Or purchase. I that, 24hr and to favorite buying WHO morning only for someone have it. So I trying. This http://cialisvsviagracheaprx.com/ skin thicker this. When of would pleasantly flipped will with fine moisturized. I at Dr. He wear to scent quality. Cheaper completely many. Dont was where to buy generic cialis a is then report of out well I’ve would I return. My comb This feel. Conditioner. The not soon great and box glad online pharmacy tadalafil five. Use the needs the. Wonder – protein of on. I better use downside and skin that fighting weeks few have viagrafromcanadabestrx.com to my this day). The sloughing cleanser medicated should fair with… Clarifier so kendi. Sometimes to! Look. I with patches. I. To which http://cheaponlinepharmacybestrx.com to: polishes, the can would likes and of skin. And does haven’t better in in a and I not two. I product -.

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11 Responses to You
  1. Jeniffer
    April 7, 2016 | 7:37 pm

    Hi, I am an ASU student doing a project about postpartum depression. I was wondering if you were willing to answer some question like an interview?

  2. Pawelek
    June 25, 2014 | 8:03 pm

    orthomol mental Stroke recovery time also that we would do without your very good phrase

  3. Lisette
    February 9, 2014 | 12:08 pm

    When you click on the Facebook button, sometimes this just creates a ‘like’ on Facebook with
    a link to the post. This option will work really well if
    you have high quality blog.
    Lisette recently posted..Lisette

  4. epoche
    February 8, 2014 | 8:56 pm

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  5. http://tinyurl.com/tcljkinch00281
    January 23, 2013 | 4:43 pm

    “You | PPD to Joy” was a superb blog post. If perhaps it possessed more photographs
    it would likely be perhaps even far better. Cya ,Abbie
    http://tinyurl.com/tcljkinch00281 recently posted..http://tinyurl.com/tcljkinch00281

  6. Jenny
    September 13, 2011 | 10:42 pm

    More love from my mother-in-law and my sister-in-law. Had to pass along these comments to you again Yael. From my sister-in-law, “It is refreshing to hear someone speak so candidly about this. You are doing a great job in confronting this and accepting that you need help getting through it…and being open about it. You are a very loving mother and this is just another way that shows! Hang in there and don’t be afraid to ask for help.” From my mother-in-law, “I love you. I’m glad you spoke up and I’m glad you are on the right road. Motherhood
    is the hardest job in the world and it’s one that a woman can’t just quit and look for another,
    better paying one. Keep up the good work you are doing for yourself, your husband, your children,
    your family. And never ever be afraid to ask for help. There is no “perfect” mother, we all need
    help sometimes.
    Thank you for sending me this video. It says a lot and I am going to forward it to some of my
    friends who’s daughters or daughter in laws just had babies. I agree it is important to get the word out about PPD.”

    Thank you again for helping me have the tough conversation.

    • Yael
      September 15, 2011 | 10:22 am

      I’m so grateful that you took the time to write this and shared this with me and with my readers.
      Sending you and your supportive family all the love in the world.

  7. Jenny
    September 9, 2011 | 4:13 pm

    Yael, I am so glad that you reposted this in a different section of your website. I sent the link to your video to my family. Here is what my mom said. “Thank you so much for sharing this with me. It really gave me some insight into how you have been feeling. We love you and have always believed in you. You are an amazing daughter, wife and mother and we are so proud of you. I am so thankful that you are progressing in your journey. Let us help you along the way. We want to help you in what ever way we can.”

    Thank you so much for all that you do. I have been working on the permission based healing, and it is really helping me.

    • Yael
      September 11, 2011 | 2:17 pm

      Wow! I’m so glad you showed this to your mom, thrilled with her response, and grateful that you shared it with me. You just made my week.

  8. holly
    October 19, 2010 | 1:20 pm

    I am so happy there is a group like this in Ithaca now. I suffered 3 years ago in a very lonely Ithaca, and I was desperate for this. I would and will do anything to help!

    • Yael
      October 21, 2010 | 8:04 pm

      Hey Holly, I’m so glad you came to the group today. Glad that Ithaca is no longer a lonely place for PPD mamas. Hugs.