This I Believe

Not exactly a manifesto, call this a mommy-festo if you will, here is what I believe with all of my heart and soul:


About Motherhood

Motherhood is the hardest job on the planet.
Even if you climbed Mt. Everest, motherhood will challenge you more than the tallest peaks.
Miraculously, unbelievably, (thankfully!) this is somehow all worth it.
But why, oh why does mothering have to be so hard?
Yet it’s the most important job ever, and the lowest paying one.
So as mothers, we need all the support and community that we can get.

My kids are the best kids ever. And so are yours.
The fact that they can drive us crazy is beside the point.

Kids, especially toddlers, are physicists and social scientists.
They test the limits of gravity, safety, and patience.
They yank our chains for a living.
This ain’t easy on the mom.

Yelling at children is unavoidable.
Striving to yell less is important, learning grump-management is helpful, but let’s not kid ourselves, raising our voices at our loved ones is not about to go extinct.
Giving ourselves permission to yell when we are at the end of our rope just might keep yelling from turning into screaming.

Hugs are more important than food.
If we hug our kids more often than we yell at them, all of us will turn out alright.

(Go slow and you’ll get there faster. Baby steps will take you farthest.)


About Postpartum Mood Disorders

You are not broken.
You are not damaged.
You are struggling.
Every struggle is an opportunity for growth.

You don’t have to like this to survive this.
You don’t have to like this to learn and grow from this.
This sucks, so of course you don’t like this.
You have a right to be angry. How could you not be?
You have a right to be scared.

When you allow your anger and fear to be heard, they cannot rule you.
Interacting with them gives you power in situations you don’t have power over. Running away from your emotions means that you can never rest.

If you fight your anger tooth and nail, it will turn into rage and guilt.
If you fear your fear, it will turn into anxiety and panic.
Fighting your emotions only feeds your demons.

Healing cannot happen in a war zone.
Permission-Based Healing is far more effective.

You are not lazy.
You are exhausted.
So is your partner.

Until you get enough sleep, try to respect your capacity, or lack thereof.
Accepting that being grumpy is unavoidable helps.
It is possible to be grumpy without being mean.
Yes, this is hard.

Trust turns caves into tunnels.
You cannot force trust nor rush it.
But you can wish for it, that’s a very good start.
It takes baby steps in order to be able to make leaps of faith in yourself and in others.
When you can’t find the light at the end of your tunnel, dare to ask someone to light a candle and hold your hand.

Asking for help is hard. Very hard. And scary.
And it is the first step to recovery.
If you only learn one thing from having to deal with this darn mood disorder, let it be how to ask for help effectively.
No, you will not be good at this right away. And that’s OK.

(Baby steps will take you farthest.)


About Love

Love is a renewable resource, a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The more you love, the more you love.

This can be hard to feel, and even harder to believe.
Love is magic.
It works regardless of whether you can feel it,
Regardless of whether you believe in it or not.

Being kind is underrated.
Being right is overrated.
When in doubt, choose kindness.
Especially to yourself.

(Baby steps will take you farthest.)


About the Role of Community in Recovery:

Community is my favorite word.
I wouldn’t be alive without my family and my community.

Every single person has skeletons in their closet.
Well, these things only look like skeletons, because it’s so dark in there.
When we dare to bring them out into the light, we discover that the skeletons are simply our very human, very scared selves.
Inviting our scared selves out to play can be petrifying.
Sharing our scary stories with others creates community while connecting all of us on the deepest level.
In my experience such trust is always rewarded handsomely.

This is how we trust in the healing power of community.
When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable and human, we allow others to do the same. And we all get stronger together.

Words build community.
When fighting doesn’t bring peace, writing does.
I believe every one of us is capable of writing for healing.
Not ready to write yet?
Read. Speak. Cry. Sing…

(Baby steps will take you farthest.)


I am grateful for the magic of the internet for letting us (you, me, and countless others) be here for each other.
 Lucky we.

In March 2012, I created a special facebook group where all of us can support each other 24/7. It’s called Mama’s Comfort Camp, and it’s like an online refueling station. PPD is of course part of the teritory, but the group is not dedicated to postpartum depression, rather it’s a safe haven of Self-Kindness and self-care.  In less than a month the group grew to over 100 members from all over the world. New members can ask to join the group on this FB page: https://www.facebook.com/mamas.comfort.camp

And of course, I invite you to connect with me right here. Your comments are music to my ears, your questions help me chart the course, your responses keep me going.

As always, buckets of love to all who read.
Whether you comment or not, may the joy be with you. 

 

 

 

14 Responses to This I Believe
  1. rx farmacia levitra
    March 2, 2017 | 4:44 am

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  2. chris vanneste
    April 30, 2012 | 11:08 am

    Thank you for your article on set-backs. I am currently having a small one which as I recover feels huge. I am crying reading your posts because PPD is so unfair and undeserving and as miserable as I have felt, I know there are many other moms who have felt worse. I want to constantly be reassured that I will be myself again. I did not have anxiety in my normal life and I want it to go away. It sucks and I cannot imagine living with it forever. Why do you still get anxious every fall? It makes me feel like I may have to get used to this anxiety, and I hope that is not so. I keep wanting this to magically go away and it is a long, hard road and it has only been 3.5 months! Thank you for all of your work-I wish I would have found you months ago! Best wishes, chris

  3. Liz
    March 7, 2012 | 4:09 pm

    I bawled all the way through reading your posts. I’m surviving today, and looking for help and support to battle these PPDemons. I found your blog. I can’t express what a relief it is to feel like someone out there understands what I’m dealing with. I want this nightmare to end! I’m grateful there is hope and a light for relief. I’m not suicidal at this point, just extremely mean to myself, riddled with guilt and pain. My baby turned one last Sunday, he is the joy of my life. He is my fourth son. And I have had PPD since he was born. Emotional roller coaster from HELL! My poor husband and children are trying to cope and I’m not myself. It’s very lonely.
    Thank you for your blog, I can truly appreciate your mission! Thank you for sharing.

    • Yael
      March 9, 2012 | 2:34 pm

      Liz, thank you for telling us about yourself. Emotional roller coaster from hell indeed. Hugs for the hard, perhaps you can join us on the SpeakEasy support call on Tuesday?
      Much love your way.

    • melih
      May 21, 2012 | 5:47 am

      Thank you for sharing this recrsoue. Your blog is so sweet! And yes, you will progress to the “I Survived Postpartum Depression”, and yes, the wait is so hard.Hugs, and I can’t wait to hear your voice on the call.

  4. story
    February 16, 2012 | 8:12 pm

    Every time I read this I am struck again by how beautiful and true it is. I can’t tell you how often I hear you in my head telling me I am not lazy, I’m just tired.
    story recently posted..Contradictions

  5. Jill
    January 17, 2012 | 12:46 am

    When I read what you have written in your statement of what you believe, I can hear an authentic voice that speaks for so many mothers. Your words on how hard a job it is to be one honors the importance of being a parent. Keep writing.

    • Yael
      January 19, 2012 | 2:12 pm

      Thank you so much, coming from you that’s a huge compliment.

  6. Anneliese
    January 16, 2012 | 3:22 pm

    This is the page I go back to when I feel like a bad mom. (Wrong!) When I feel I can’t go on. (Wrong!) When I feel like it is just me. (Wrong!) When I feel like no one will tell the truth but me and I am all alone with a really hard truth. (Wrong!) Thanks for getting it RIGHT, Yael.

    • Yael
      January 19, 2012 | 2:13 pm

      Thank you so much for this. You just warmed my heart to the core.

  7. Cristi Comes
    August 17, 2011 | 1:22 am

    I totally agree with Robin. Will be sharing this one tomorrow. xo
    Cristi Comes recently posted..Wordless Wednesday w #Linky: Because you gotta have blue hair!

    • Yael
      August 17, 2011 | 7:38 am

      Yay, you like this! Thanks for sharing.
      And yes, you totally gotta have blue hair! the trouble is that it washes away in two weeks and then you have to mess with it over again. You
      can see min on the bottom of my “this is me” page. hugs.

  8. Robin
    August 16, 2011 | 12:06 pm

    This is my favourite post yet. So much wisdom. xo

    • Yael
      August 17, 2011 | 7:36 am

      Thank you my friend. Your support makes me write better.

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Trackback URL http://www.ppdtojoy.com/blog/this-i-believe/trackback/

This I Believe

Not exactly a manifesto, call this a mommy-festo if you will, here is what I believe with all of my heart and soul:


About Motherhood

Motherhood is the hardest job on the planet.
Even if you climbed Mt. Everest, motherhood will challenge you more than the tallest peaks.
Miraculously, unbelievably, (thankfully!) this is somehow all worth it.
But why, oh why does mothering have to be so hard?
Yet it’s the most important job ever, and the lowest paying one.
So as mothers, we need all the support and community that we can get.

My kids are the best kids ever. And so are yours.
The fact that they can drive us crazy is beside the point.

Kids, especially toddlers, are physicists and social scientists.
They test the limits of gravity, safety, and patience.
They yank our chains for a living.
This ain’t easy on the mom.

Yelling at children is unavoidable.
Striving to yell less is important, learning grump-management is helpful, but let’s not kid ourselves, raising our voices at our loved ones is not about to go extinct.
Giving ourselves permission to yell when we are at the end of our rope just might keep yelling from turning into screaming.

Hugs are more important than food.
If we hug our kids more often than we yell at them, all of us will turn out alright.

(Go slow and you’ll get there faster. Baby steps will take you farthest.)


About Postpartum Mood Disorders

You are not broken.
You are not damaged.
You are struggling.
Every struggle is an opportunity for growth.

You don’t have to like this to survive this.
You don’t have to like this to learn and grow from this.
This sucks, so of course you don’t like this.
You have a right to be angry. How could you not be?
You have a right to be scared.

When you allow your anger and fear to be heard, they cannot rule you.
Interacting with them gives you power in situations you don’t have power over. Running away from your emotions means that you can never rest.

If you fight your anger tooth and nail, it will turn into rage and guilt.
If you fear your fear, it will turn into anxiety and panic.
Fighting your emotions only feeds your demons.

Healing cannot happen in a war zone.
Permission-Based Healing is far more effective.

You are not lazy.
You are exhausted.
So is your partner.

Until you get enough sleep, try to respect your capacity, or lack thereof.
Accepting that being grumpy is unavoidable helps.
It is possible to be grumpy without being mean.
Yes, this is hard.

Trust turns caves into tunnels.
You cannot force trust nor rush it.
But you can wish for it, that’s a very good start.
It takes baby steps in order to be able to make leaps of faith in yourself and in others.
When you can’t find the light at the end of your tunnel, dare to ask someone to light a candle and hold your hand.

Asking for help is hard. Very hard. And scary.
And it is the first step to recovery.
If you only learn one thing from having to deal with this darn mood disorder, let it be how to ask for help effectively.
No, you will not be good at this right away. And that’s OK.

(Baby steps will take you farthest.)


About Love

Love is a renewable resource, a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The more you love, the more you love.

This can be hard to feel, and even harder to believe.
Love is magic.
It works regardless of whether you can feel it,
Regardless of whether you believe in it or not.

Being kind is underrated.
Being right is overrated.
When in doubt, choose kindness.
Especially to yourself.

(Baby steps will take you farthest.)


About the Role of Community in Recovery:

Community is my favorite word.
I wouldn’t be alive without my family and my community.

Every single person has skeletons in their closet.
Well, these things only look like skeletons, because it’s so dark in there.
When we dare to bring them out into the light, we discover that the skeletons are simply our very human, very scared selves.
Inviting our scared selves out to play can be petrifying.
Sharing our scary stories with others creates community while connecting all of us on the deepest level.
In my experience such trust is always rewarded handsomely.

This is how we trust in the healing power of community.
When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable and human, we allow others to do the same. And we all get stronger together.

Words build community.
When fighting doesn’t bring peace, writing does.
I believe every one of us is capable of writing for healing.
Not ready to write yet?
Read. Speak. Cry. Sing…

(Baby steps will take you farthest.)


I am grateful for the magic of the internet for letting us (you, me, and countless others) be here for each other.
 Lucky we.

In March 2012, I created a special facebook group where all of us can support each other 24/7. It’s called Mama’s Comfort Camp, and it’s like an online refueling station. PPD is of course part of the teritory, but the group is not dedicated to postpartum depression, rather it’s a safe haven of Self-Kindness and self-care.  In less than a month the group grew to over 100 members from all over the world. New members can ask to join the group on this FB page: https://www.facebook.com/mamas.comfort.camp

And of course, I invite you to connect with me right here. Your comments are music to my ears, your questions help me chart the course, your responses keep me going.

As always, buckets of love to all who read.
Whether you comment or not, may the joy be with you. 

 

 

 

14 Responses to This I Believe
  1. rx farmacia levitra
    March 2, 2017 | 4:44 am

    Disfunzione rx farmacia italia alla consegna prezzi ultima mg forum cialis vardenafil erettile del novit?пїЅ 20

  2. chris vanneste
    April 30, 2012 | 11:08 am

    Thank you for your article on set-backs. I am currently having a small one which as I recover feels huge. I am crying reading your posts because PPD is so unfair and undeserving and as miserable as I have felt, I know there are many other moms who have felt worse. I want to constantly be reassured that I will be myself again. I did not have anxiety in my normal life and I want it to go away. It sucks and I cannot imagine living with it forever. Why do you still get anxious every fall? It makes me feel like I may have to get used to this anxiety, and I hope that is not so. I keep wanting this to magically go away and it is a long, hard road and it has only been 3.5 months! Thank you for all of your work-I wish I would have found you months ago! Best wishes, chris

  3. Liz
    March 7, 2012 | 4:09 pm

    I bawled all the way through reading your posts. I’m surviving today, and looking for help and support to battle these PPDemons. I found your blog. I can’t express what a relief it is to feel like someone out there understands what I’m dealing with. I want this nightmare to end! I’m grateful there is hope and a light for relief. I’m not suicidal at this point, just extremely mean to myself, riddled with guilt and pain. My baby turned one last Sunday, he is the joy of my life. He is my fourth son. And I have had PPD since he was born. Emotional roller coaster from HELL! My poor husband and children are trying to cope and I’m not myself. It’s very lonely.
    Thank you for your blog, I can truly appreciate your mission! Thank you for sharing.

    • Yael
      March 9, 2012 | 2:34 pm

      Liz, thank you for telling us about yourself. Emotional roller coaster from hell indeed. Hugs for the hard, perhaps you can join us on the SpeakEasy support call on Tuesday?
      Much love your way.

    • melih
      May 21, 2012 | 5:47 am

      Thank you for sharing this recrsoue. Your blog is so sweet! And yes, you will progress to the “I Survived Postpartum Depression”, and yes, the wait is so hard.Hugs, and I can’t wait to hear your voice on the call.

  4. story
    February 16, 2012 | 8:12 pm

    Every time I read this I am struck again by how beautiful and true it is. I can’t tell you how often I hear you in my head telling me I am not lazy, I’m just tired.
    story recently posted..Contradictions

  5. Jill
    January 17, 2012 | 12:46 am

    When I read what you have written in your statement of what you believe, I can hear an authentic voice that speaks for so many mothers. Your words on how hard a job it is to be one honors the importance of being a parent. Keep writing.

    • Yael
      January 19, 2012 | 2:12 pm

      Thank you so much, coming from you that’s a huge compliment.

  6. Anneliese
    January 16, 2012 | 3:22 pm

    This is the page I go back to when I feel like a bad mom. (Wrong!) When I feel I can’t go on. (Wrong!) When I feel like it is just me. (Wrong!) When I feel like no one will tell the truth but me and I am all alone with a really hard truth. (Wrong!) Thanks for getting it RIGHT, Yael.

    • Yael
      January 19, 2012 | 2:13 pm

      Thank you so much for this. You just warmed my heart to the core.

  7. Cristi Comes
    August 17, 2011 | 1:22 am

    I totally agree with Robin. Will be sharing this one tomorrow. xo
    Cristi Comes recently posted..Wordless Wednesday w #Linky: Because you gotta have blue hair!

    • Yael
      August 17, 2011 | 7:38 am

      Yay, you like this! Thanks for sharing.
      And yes, you totally gotta have blue hair! the trouble is that it washes away in two weeks and then you have to mess with it over again. You
      can see min on the bottom of my “this is me” page. hugs.

  8. Robin
    August 16, 2011 | 12:06 pm

    This is my favourite post yet. So much wisdom. xo

    • Yael
      August 17, 2011 | 7:36 am

      Thank you my friend. Your support makes me write better.

Leave a Reply

Wanting to leave an <em>phasis on your comment?

Notify me of followup comments via e-mail. You can also subscribe without commenting.

Trackback URL http://www.ppdtojoy.com/blog/this-i-believe/trackback/