I’m on the bus to NYC. I’m going to BlogHer. The mother of all blogging conferences.
It’s my first time going to something like this.
And I’m nervous.
And despite my best efforts, so much of what was supposed to happen before I go, didn’t. I wanted to get a haircut before I go. I wanted to make meals for my family to eat while I’m gone. I wanted to wax my legs. I wanted to read all of my friend’s latest blog posts before I meet them for the first time in real life. I needed to arrange for babysitters to pick up the kids from camp on the days I’m away so DH can stay at work past 3:30. Only the sitter happened, and not for all 4 days, so my friend Lesli will pick up the kids on Thursday (thank you sweetie!). I shaved my legs in the shower this morning, I put my hair up in a ponytail, and spent a big part of the morning looking for my keys. Which I was supposed to give to DH to give to the sitter. And now, as the bus pulls into Manhattan, I found in my handbag. Great.
I’m anxious and excited. I’m about to meet some of my #ppdchat friends, friends from my PPD Bloggers Galore facebook group, and some of the beloved members of my Mama’s Comfort Camp facebook group (hi sweeties!), and even one of my students from the (Not)Secret (Not)Weapon e-course (whoohoo! I can’t wait to squeeze you!). I’m anxious about meeting these women whom I know and love online, and somehow not meeting their expectations. I’m anxious about meeting some amazing new (to me) women, and then getting their name wrong. I’m anxious about not getting enough sleep, and about not having enough time to process and absorb what I learn in the sessions.
I’m anxious about this conference. Have been anxious for a couple of weeks. I’ve been using my coping skills so this anxiety is not debilitating. It’s there, I recognize it, I meet it with Self-Kindness, I apply my bodymind tools, and I can breathe through it. I am anchored and safe even while I am anxious.
So I’m anxious. Of course I am anxious. How could I not be? The conference starts tomorrow.
So if I meet you at the conference and I look anxious, it’s because I am. This means that if you are anxious too, we have at least one thing in common. So say hello, will you?