A Song for Pam

This post is dedicated to the lovely and amazing Pamela Gold of   
With all the love in the world. 

My dear friend, I can’t get you out of my head.

I worry for you. And for all who love you. And there are many, so many of us.

Becuase you shine.
Because you are unable to see your own brilliance, because depression has got you it its clutch.

When I found out that you are going into the hospital today, I was so relieved.
I was just coming out of my therapist’s office. Where I talked with my her about how watching you struggle brought me back to the days before I swallowed all those pills and woke up in the psych ward, almost exactly 6 years ago.

I was terrified that you would succumb to the lure of the pills. This is the type you must choose when you www.topadmissionessay.com are told to pick a topic. I was terrified that you might “succeed” where I “failed” and that you might not wake up in the hospital, or anywhere else. Even worst, I was terrified you would wake up with some permanent damage. Mama, I was scared.

I had no idea how I could help other than by praying and typing. So I prayed, and tweeted, and left comments, but felt rather impotent and small.

Then I watched with awe and love how and thearmy is coming to your side. How each and every one of us builds upon the other, and together we are a whole that is so much greater than the sum of its parts. It was like watching a fantasy movie, where the forces of good triumph above the forces of evil with the sheer power of love.

And you took that in, and you were able to put one foot in front of the other and got yourself off the cliff.
And today you are walking into the hospital with your head held high, and the love and care of countless mothers from near and far holding you in the light.

Pam, we got your back. 

In the car driving home, even the radio was all about you. It played one of my favorite songs, and I realized that now and forever, whenever I listen to this song, I will be thinking of you.

Don’t Give Up

Don’t you just love that long, long hug? That’s what friends are for.
I’m glad you are going to the hospital wrapped up in the care of the #PPDchat army of love.

don’t give up
’cause you have friends
don’t give up
you’re not the only one
don’t give up
no reason to be ashamed
don’t give up
you still have us
don’t give up now
we’re proud of who you are
don’t give up
you know it’s never been easy
don’t give up
’cause I believe there’s the a place
there’s a place where we belong

 

And as I was looking for it on YouTube for you, I discovered a cover by Lady GaGa. Who knew?
I was so thrilled that this old song is finding a new audience.
http://youtu.be/03hRtP5fNgc

This is my second post for Pam. Here is the first one:

P.S. A huge thank you to Lauren Hale, the leader of #ppdchat, for writing  about how after we’ve all been there for Pam, each and every one of us is also in need of support. It made me cry the good kind of tears, and I really really needed that. Watching Pam’s struggle was triggering* in a way that I didn’t allow myself to fully acknowledge, and Laurens words helped me allow myself to feel the tenderness so I can continue to heal it. This process is far from over, and while I have been doing my best here to provide support to others, I am still in need of support for myself, and will continue to need support, well, forever. And that’s a good thing. I am grateful for this give and take. The dance of generosity in this community is breathtaking.

 

P.S. 2
The morning After:

good morning awesome  mamas! I had you all in a dream. We were sewing a cape together, like the little mice in cinderella…

And then:

 @ that’s an amazing visual
 @: What a fabulous dream! I think there is some real meaning there. :)
 @ Love it!
 @ what a great dream picture:)
 @ Beautiful! A cape that shrouds love and support to the wearer
 Yes, and there is more than one cape. A lot more.

 

So yes: Magic.

*P.S.3:
Beloved Pam, please don’t feel bad or guilty about triggering anybody. It’s ok. Really. I know you would do the same for me or any other #ppdchat mom. And besides, when we get triggered while having access to the support of this community, we get to process what needs processing much better than we did before.

 

P.S. 4:
As always, support is just a tweet away. #ppdchat

Sorry, comments are closed for this post.

A Song for Pam

This post is dedicated to the lovely and amazing Pamela Gold of   
With all the love in the world. 

My dear friend, I can’t get you out of my head.

I worry for you. And for all who love you. And there are many, so many of us.

Becuase you shine.
Because you are unable to see your own brilliance, because depression has got you it its clutch.

When I found out that you are going into the hospital today, I was so relieved.
I was just coming out of my therapist’s office. Where I talked with my her about how watching you struggle brought me back to the days before I swallowed all those pills and woke up in the psych ward, almost exactly 6 years ago.

I was terrified that you would succumb to the lure of the pills. This is the type you must choose when you www.topadmissionessay.com are told to pick a topic. I was terrified that you might “succeed” where I “failed” and that you might not wake up in the hospital, or anywhere else. Even worst, I was terrified you would wake up with some permanent damage. Mama, I was scared.

I had no idea how I could help other than by praying and typing. So I prayed, and tweeted, and left comments, but felt rather impotent and small.

Then I watched with awe and love how and thearmy is coming to your side. How each and every one of us builds upon the other, and together we are a whole that is so much greater than the sum of its parts. It was like watching a fantasy movie, where the forces of good triumph above the forces of evil with the sheer power of love.

And you took that in, and you were able to put one foot in front of the other and got yourself off the cliff.
And today you are walking into the hospital with your head held high, and the love and care of countless mothers from near and far holding you in the light.

Pam, we got your back. 

In the car driving home, even the radio was all about you. It played one of my favorite songs, and I realized that now and forever, whenever I listen to this song, I will be thinking of you.

Don’t Give Up

Don’t you just love that long, long hug? That’s what friends are for.
I’m glad you are going to the hospital wrapped up in the care of the #PPDchat army of love.

don’t give up
’cause you have friends
don’t give up
you’re not the only one
don’t give up
no reason to be ashamed
don’t give up
you still have us
don’t give up now
we’re proud of who you are
don’t give up
you know it’s never been easy
don’t give up
’cause I believe there’s the a place
there’s a place where we belong

 

And as I was looking for it on YouTube for you, I discovered a cover by Lady GaGa. Who knew?
I was so thrilled that this old song is finding a new audience.
http://youtu.be/03hRtP5fNgc

This is my second post for Pam. Here is the first one:

P.S. A huge thank you to Lauren Hale, the leader of #ppdchat, for writing  about how after we’ve all been there for Pam, each and every one of us is also in need of support. It made me cry the good kind of tears, and I really really needed that. Watching Pam’s struggle was triggering* in a way that I didn’t allow myself to fully acknowledge, and Laurens words helped me allow myself to feel the tenderness so I can continue to heal it. This process is far from over, and while I have been doing my best here to provide support to others, I am still in need of support for myself, and will continue to need support, well, forever. And that’s a good thing. I am grateful for this give and take. The dance of generosity in this community is breathtaking.

 

P.S. 2
The morning After:

good morning awesome  mamas! I had you all in a dream. We were sewing a cape together, like the little mice in cinderella…

And then:

 @ that’s an amazing visual
 @: What a fabulous dream! I think there is some real meaning there. :)
 @ Love it!
 @ what a great dream picture:)
 @ Beautiful! A cape that shrouds love and support to the wearer
 Yes, and there is more than one cape. A lot more.

 

So yes: Magic.

*P.S.3:
Beloved Pam, please don’t feel bad or guilty about triggering anybody. It’s ok. Really. I know you would do the same for me or any other #ppdchat mom. And besides, when we get triggered while having access to the support of this community, we get to process what needs processing much better than we did before.

 

P.S. 4:
As always, support is just a tweet away. #ppdchat

Sorry, comments are closed for this post.