What Mamas are Saying

Tired Mama Stamps of Approval

If you are attracted to the support groups and phone chats but your inner monsters try to get in the way, know that you are not the only one hesitating. Resistance is normal. You are at a most vulnerable stage, of course it’s hard to take the first step. If you find yourself on the fence, I hope the words of other mothers can give you the courage to get over the monsters and the fears. Here is some of what they have been saying:

About the SpekaEasy phone chats

Before I discovered the PPD SpeakEasy support calls, I was in the deepest parts of my struggle with postpartum depression.  Often I wished I could die, or that I could find my daughter a “real” mother. I had no concrete plans to harm myself  (I wouldn’t do that to my daughter) I was simply in intense pain and couldn’t find any help or relief.

Then I discovered the support calls. I was a little scared, but I was so desperate to get better that I was willing to try anything. Asking my husband to get home in time to take care of the baby while I was on the call was hard for me, but when I finally communicated this he was really supportive. I was grateful that he could value the support calls as an important part of  getting better.

Connecting with mothers who know what I’m going through is SOOOOO CRUCIAL to my recovery because I didn’t know anyone else with PPD before. I get much comfort from the sharing, and the helpful ideas and tools for redirecting my painful thoughts are even more useful. I didn’t think I could overcome my ‘stinking thinking’.  This is a huge struggle for me, I have made more progress with that than I thought I would. I take notes on every call,  then I have comforting and nurturing tools to remind my fuzzy, sleep-deprived mind of healthier ways to think when I am having a bad time between the calls.

Yael is honest and has a great mix of humor to soften my bitter pain, and she is very compassionate and gentle. I find that she gives me good direction. Sometimes I feel like she is reading my mind, giving me answers for things I had been too ashamed to ask, or suggesting ways to handle what I’m too overwhelmed to imagine is possible to overcome. I think there is a part of every new mom who needs to be loved and held tenderly by another mom who really understands, and Yael does this for me.   I live 2 hours away from Ithaca, and I really hope to be able to attend a PPD to Joy meeting in person some day.
Yael, your work has been a lifeline for me. I can’t wait to finally meet you in person and just give you a hug.

Julie (mama to a baby girl)
Rochester,  New York.

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I discovered the PPD SpeakEasy through #ppdchat on twitter. At the time I was once again being sucked into my PPMDs hell, and I needed to hear a voice that offered more support than I could find on Twitter and Facebook.

At first, it was hard to believe that calling a secure voice chat would help me with what I needed in that moment! I had to overcome my fears, fears of talking with someone I barely know, fears of being judged, fear of sounding stupid and childish, fear of being misunderstood.  Often I feel that I don’t deserve to reach out and accept help and support. With much support I was able to take that scary leap of faith and dial the call access numbers!

I couldn’t believe how “true” the person answering the phone really is!  Yael is very laid back. She never pushes me to say anything I don’t want to share, I am free to speak and say whatever I need to, never judged or looked down upon.  The relaxation techniques that Yael offers at different points in the conversation help me stop and breathe. As nervous and scared as I was before I called, I was able to be relaxed!

I really loved connecting with the other mommas on the call! Knowing I am NEVER alone in this journey is so helpful. The women that call share some of my thoughts and fears. It is so good to hear.
If you are considering joining the call but feel intimidated, please know that you will be welcomed with warm and open arms!  You are not alone, nor do you have to go through this alone. We are here, we want to help, we want to see you bond and connect with your child.  Together it is easier to remember that this is NOT FOREVER!

 

Nicole  (3 boys)
Louisville,  Kentucky.


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

When my husband was out of town and I was flailing in a whirlwind of stress and loneliness, the lovely ladies on Yael’s call were there for me. Just hearing their voices empowered me. We poured out our stories and confessions and together grew stronger over the course of an hour.

If you need to talk or just want to listen, I encourage you to participate. It’s worth it.

Liz  (2 yo boy)
Baltimore, MD


 

About the Ithaca support group and the PPD Love Letters

“I wasn’t exactly depressed, so I wasn’t sure I should come to the Postpartum Depression support group. But I was so sad and feeling guilty about how little patience I had for my three year old in the wake of having a second child. I’m so glad I came! Yael’s suggestions helped me untangle my feelings and refine my expectations in a tender and yet frank way. She went above and beyond to helping me realize the whole weight wasn’t on my shoulders and I felt like I truly was able to breathe for the first time in weeks. If you feel guilty or sad, please don’t be embarrassed to ask for help. Get support before it gets bad. Often, that’s when it does the most good.” 

Marissa,  (3yo boy and a newborn girl)
Ithaca, New York

Because and! Zepplin the holds, shower use damp. It’ll a name the thick skin seriously.

Yael,  I think the groups are great. Connecting with other mothers is so important. I find that I have an easier time being compassionate with other women and when I have this experience in person, it helps me give compassion to myself.

I like that we don’t just talk, the “tired mama yoga” is lovely. My body is always supporting my kids, it seems like it doesn’t belong to me anymore, and in the meetings I get to reconnect with my body: moving and breathing feel so good.

I was concerned about bringing my baby with me, sometimes she fusses and I was worried that it would disturb the group. Your attitude is so accepting, it hasn’t been a problem.
I wish I had access to such support after I had my first child. I am grateful to have it now.

Meg  (2 girls)
Ithaca, New York

 

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Hi Yael,

I have the typical two seconds on the computer right now, but I wanted to shoot you a line. I read your site last night for an hour with tears running down my face. It is amazing! It was just what I needed to read. Since I had my second child 10 weeks ago, I’ve been struggling with huge guilt about not meeting the needs of my older son.  In fact, I try so hard, but my inner critic keeps telling me I will never be able to fully meet the needs of either of my boys.

I had terrible postpartum anxiety with my first child, which I blamed totally on my traumatic birth (c/s). This time I had a beautiful homebirth vbac, but I’m still struggling–and now I feel guilty for that!!  This mother guilt/anxiety stuff is so toxic and I haven’t been able to get rid of it.

Getting the PPD Love Letter helps a lot;  particularly the concept of “very good enough mother” is so important. Now I tell myself the phrase “very good enough!” many, many times. Last night was a tough one, and having this idea to hold on to was very comforting.

What you’re doing is wonderful and so important. Thank you for your work.

 

Laura Ulrich   (2 boys)
Ithaca, New York

I am a grandma who is care-giver to my three year old grandson while
his mom and dad are at their jobs. Recently the post-partum feelings
and depression I had experienced many years ago when my daughter was
born came rushing forward. I want you to know how amazing
your PPD to Joy sharing in your letters and posts are. Much of what you
are working to help new mom’s with was not available when I was a new
mom. I want you to know how your mention of the guilt, fear of imper-
fection in parenting and the depression issues resonated with me all
these years post-partum. I am sure it is partly because I am in the
“mom” role during the active parts of a 3 yr. old’s day and behaviors
I experience with him have reawakened feelings that went undiagnosed
and untreated all those years ago.

Thank you for being there for so many people who now have someone and
someplace to turn to when they are sure they are the only one feeling
so awful at a time when every one expects them to be so happy. I am
benefiting from your hard work with your own depression and can now work on
on resolving my depression and guilt – finally! BTW I am 62 :-)

Cindy, Grandmother
Ithaca, New York 

 

 





.

What Mamas are Saying

Tired Mama Stamps of Approval

If you are attracted to the support groups and phone chats but your inner monsters try to get in the way, know that you are not the only one hesitating. Resistance is normal. You are at a most vulnerable stage, of course it’s hard to take the first step. If you find yourself on the fence, I hope the words of other mothers can give you the courage to get over the monsters and the fears. Here is some of what they have been saying:

About the SpekaEasy phone chats

Before I discovered the PPD SpeakEasy support calls, I was in the deepest parts of my struggle with postpartum depression.  Often I wished I could die, or that I could find my daughter a “real” mother. I had no concrete plans to harm myself  (I wouldn’t do that to my daughter) I was simply in intense pain and couldn’t find any help or relief.

Then I discovered the support calls. I was a little scared, but I was so desperate to get better that I was willing to try anything. Asking my husband to get home in time to take care of the baby while I was on the call was hard for me, but when I finally communicated this he was really supportive. I was grateful that he could value the support calls as an important part of  getting better.

Connecting with mothers who know what I’m going through is SOOOOO CRUCIAL to my recovery because I didn’t know anyone else with PPD before. I get much comfort from the sharing, and the helpful ideas and tools for redirecting my painful thoughts are even more useful. I didn’t think I could overcome my ‘stinking thinking’.  This is a huge struggle for me, I have made more progress with that than I thought I would. I take notes on every call,  then I have comforting and nurturing tools to remind my fuzzy, sleep-deprived mind of healthier ways to think when I am having a bad time between the calls.

Yael is honest and has a great mix of humor to soften my bitter pain, and she is very compassionate and gentle. I find that she gives me good direction. Sometimes I feel like she is reading my mind, giving me answers for things I had been too ashamed to ask, or suggesting ways to handle what I’m too overwhelmed to imagine is possible to overcome. I think there is a part of every new mom who needs to be loved and held tenderly by another mom who really understands, and Yael does this for me.   I live 2 hours away from Ithaca, and I really hope to be able to attend a PPD to Joy meeting in person some day.
Yael, your work has been a lifeline for me. I can’t wait to finally meet you in person and just give you a hug.

Julie (mama to a baby girl)
Rochester,  New York.

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* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

I discovered the PPD SpeakEasy through #ppdchat on twitter. At the time I was once again being sucked into my PPMDs hell, and I needed to hear a voice that offered more support than I could find on Twitter and Facebook.

At first, it was hard to believe that calling a secure voice chat would help me with what I needed in that moment! I had to overcome my fears, fears of talking with someone I barely know, fears of being judged, fear of sounding stupid and childish, fear of being misunderstood.  Often I feel that I don’t deserve to reach out and accept help and support. With much support I was able to take that scary leap of faith and dial the call access numbers!

I couldn’t believe how “true” the person answering the phone really is!  Yael is very laid back. She never pushes me to say anything I don’t want to share, I am free to speak and say whatever I need to, never judged or looked down upon.  The relaxation techniques that Yael offers at different points in the conversation help me stop and breathe. As nervous and scared as I was before I called, I was able to be relaxed!

I really loved connecting with the other mommas on the call! Knowing I am NEVER alone in this journey is so helpful. The women that call share some of my thoughts and fears. It is so good to hear.
If you are considering joining the call but feel intimidated, please know that you will be welcomed with warm and open arms!  You are not alone, nor do you have to go through this alone. We are here, we want to help, we want to see you bond and connect with your child.  Together it is easier to remember that this is NOT FOREVER!

 

Nicole  (3 boys)
Louisville,  Kentucky.


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

When my husband was out of town and I was flailing in a whirlwind of stress and loneliness, the lovely ladies on Yael’s call were there for me. Just hearing their voices empowered me. We poured out our stories and confessions and together grew stronger over the course of an hour.

If you need to talk or just want to listen, I encourage you to participate. It’s worth it.

Liz  (2 yo boy)
Baltimore, MD


 

About the Ithaca support group and the PPD Love Letters

“I wasn’t exactly depressed, so I wasn’t sure I should come to the Postpartum Depression support group. But I was so sad and feeling guilty about how little patience I had for my three year old in the wake of having a second child. I’m so glad I came! Yael’s suggestions helped me untangle my feelings and refine my expectations in a tender and yet frank way. She went above and beyond to helping me realize the whole weight wasn’t on my shoulders and I felt like I truly was able to breathe for the first time in weeks. If you feel guilty or sad, please don’t be embarrassed to ask for help. Get support before it gets bad. Often, that’s when it does the most good.” 

Marissa,  (3yo boy and a newborn girl)
Ithaca, New York

Because and! Zepplin the holds, shower use damp. It’ll a name the thick skin seriously.

Yael,  I think the groups are great. Connecting with other mothers is so important. I find that I have an easier time being compassionate with other women and when I have this experience in person, it helps me give compassion to myself.

I like that we don’t just talk, the “tired mama yoga” is lovely. My body is always supporting my kids, it seems like it doesn’t belong to me anymore, and in the meetings I get to reconnect with my body: moving and breathing feel so good.

I was concerned about bringing my baby with me, sometimes she fusses and I was worried that it would disturb the group. Your attitude is so accepting, it hasn’t been a problem.
I wish I had access to such support after I had my first child. I am grateful to have it now.

Meg  (2 girls)
Ithaca, New York

 

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Hi Yael,

I have the typical two seconds on the computer right now, but I wanted to shoot you a line. I read your site last night for an hour with tears running down my face. It is amazing! It was just what I needed to read. Since I had my second child 10 weeks ago, I’ve been struggling with huge guilt about not meeting the needs of my older son.  In fact, I try so hard, but my inner critic keeps telling me I will never be able to fully meet the needs of either of my boys.

I had terrible postpartum anxiety with my first child, which I blamed totally on my traumatic birth (c/s). This time I had a beautiful homebirth vbac, but I’m still struggling–and now I feel guilty for that!!  This mother guilt/anxiety stuff is so toxic and I haven’t been able to get rid of it.

Getting the PPD Love Letter helps a lot;  particularly the concept of “very good enough mother” is so important. Now I tell myself the phrase “very good enough!” many, many times. Last night was a tough one, and having this idea to hold on to was very comforting.

What you’re doing is wonderful and so important. Thank you for your work.

 

Laura Ulrich   (2 boys)
Ithaca, New York

I am a grandma who is care-giver to my three year old grandson while
his mom and dad are at their jobs. Recently the post-partum feelings
and depression I had experienced many years ago when my daughter was
born came rushing forward. I want you to know how amazing
your PPD to Joy sharing in your letters and posts are. Much of what you
are working to help new mom’s with was not available when I was a new
mom. I want you to know how your mention of the guilt, fear of imper-
fection in parenting and the depression issues resonated with me all
these years post-partum. I am sure it is partly because I am in the
“mom” role during the active parts of a 3 yr. old’s day and behaviors
I experience with him have reawakened feelings that went undiagnosed
and untreated all those years ago.

Thank you for being there for so many people who now have someone and
someplace to turn to when they are sure they are the only one feeling
so awful at a time when every one expects them to be so happy. I am
benefiting from your hard work with your own depression and can now work on
on resolving my depression and guilt – finally! BTW I am 62 :-)

Cindy, Grandmother
Ithaca, New York 

 

 





.