October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. I would like to send my heartfelt sympathy to all who have suffered this most heartbreaking of losses, to tell you about my involvement in the matter, and invite you to a very special event.

Before we get to the story, here is what you need to know:

The dedication of the Perinatal Loss Support Group Bulb Labyrinth Memorial Garden.
Cantor Abbe Lyons will facilitate the event which will include prayer, spoken word, and music.

Where: , at the entrance to Cass Park  on RT 89 in Ithaca, make a left just after the inlet bridge.

When: Sunday Oct. 16. 3:00 -5:00 pm. The first part of the ceremony, from 3:00 to 3:45 is reserved for the grieving families only. 
The general public is encouraged to join at 4:00.

More about the event in the press release below.

The background story:  No, I have not experienced perinatal or pregnancy loss myself, and I thank God for that. But I helped start a support group:

In the summer of 2010, my community had seen a string of perinatal losses: babies that died in the womb, at birth, or shortly after they were born. At the time, I was in the process of creating my PPD support group here in Ithaca. As soon as I started promoting my meetings, I was asked if my group offered support to mothers who lost their babies.

My answer had to be no. Mixing mothers who are depressed because they feel like bad mothers (to their  living babies) with mothers who just lost theirs seemed like a recipe for heartbreak.

I couldn’t invite these grieving mothers to my group, but I wasn’t going to turn away. In every community, there are far more families grieving perinatal and pregnancy loss than most people know. It’s something that is not mentioned in regular conversation, yet through my involvement with , I knew that there was a huge need in our community for this kind of support.

So I made a phone call. I called my friends at the , the suicide prevention hotline I used to volunteer with. I asked if they would consider adding a perinatal loss support group to their offerings. Turned out they were considering it for a long time. I also learned that the good people at (an amazing hospice facility here in town) were aware of this need in the community as well. We all agreed that creating such a support group was both doable and necessary, and that it was time to take it off the to-do list and make it a reality.

An exploratory meeting was called. The grieving families, local maternal health providers, and other caring individuals soon met for a heartfelt discussion which was held at Hospicare. The Ithaca Perinatal Loss Support Group was created in late October 2010, and had met twice a month ever since. It is helmed by Lisa Machlin, a labor and delivery nurse  (Lisa is also a fantastic lactation consultant, but that’s not her role with this group, obviously), and Kate Dimpfl, of a childbirth educator. Since the group was created, in addition to holding regular meetings, they have been working to raise awareness and improve the resources available for a local family experiencing such a loss, efforts ranging from supplying the local library with the most up to date books on the subject, to working with the local hospital and midwives to meet the needs of families who have experienced related losses since the creation of the group.

I have not attended the following meetings. I am so consumed (and at times overwhelmed) by my work in the PPD arena, that I am grateful to no end that the perinatal loss group doesn’t really need me anymore. But I must tell you, I am very proud of making that phone call a year ago. The group has since received supported from many volunteers in many capacities, including local mental health providers who offer therapy and speaking events.

Next Sunday, on October 16, the group will celebrate its first anniversary by inaugurating a bulb labyrinth memorial garden project at the Ithaca Children’s garden. I can’t think of a more beautiful or fitting memorial.

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When Kate asked me for help in spreading the word about the event, I felt that I must write about it here, despite this not exactly being about postpartum depression.

How you can help: Please spread the word on listserves and websites you have access to (just copy and paste the information above).

Also please consider donating: money, bulbs, stone for paths, refreshments and photography services. Please contact Kate Dimpfl to make any arrangements: 

Just like I hope all new moms will never need my groups because they will never get depressed, I hope you will never have the need for pregnancy or perinatal loss support. I’ll be planting some bulbs next Sunday, and if you are in the Ithaca area, I hope you can come too. If you would like to go to the group’s meetings which happen on Monday nights, click here:

Much love,

Yael.

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Here is the press release for the event.

Ithaca Children’s Garden to hold Perinatal Loss Remembrance Day; Launch new Bulb Labyrinth Memorial Garden

On Sunday, October 16, the Ithaca Children’s Garden, in partnership with the Ithaca Perinatal Loss Support Group, will be holding its first annual
Perinatal Loss Remembrance Day from 3:00 – 5:00 pm.

The Children’s Garden is located at the southern end of Cass Park on Rt. 89 in Ithaca.

The event will feature a memorial service for grieving parents and families from 3:00 – 3:45 and the launch of the new Bulb Labyrinth Memorial Garden project from 4:00 – 5:00. Designed to bloom profusely for 3 seasons, the bulb-centric labyrinth design will be unveiled and the community’s feedback and participation will be invited.

Created in partnership with the Ithaca Perinatal Loss Support Group, the Bulb Labyrinth will provide a peaceful, meditative place for the community to recognize perinatal and childhood loss, and will also serve to uplift and delight the senses while celebrating life.

Featuring a variety of beautiful flowers, a wheelchair and stroller-friendly winding stone pathway, sculpture by local artisans, and an open space in the center with benches, the labyrinth will promote intimate interaction with abundantly blooming plant material, provide a unique community space for events, and contribute aesthetic beauty to the Ithaca Children’s Garden.

The Children’s Garden plans to break ground in spring of 2012 and complete installation in the fall of 2012. The labyrinth’s first blooms can be expected to emerge in March of 2013.

Founded in 1999, the Ithaca Children’s Garden is a local nonprofit organization dedicated to promoting an appreciation for plants and nature among youth. The Ithaca Perinatal Loss Support Group first reached out to the Children’s Garden as a way to commemorate perinatal loss and
educate the community about the impact perinatal loss has on families.

“When the Ithaca Perinatal Loss Support Group of Ithaca approached the Children’s Garden it was clear that a 3-season bulb labyrinth would be an especially apropos garden project to collaborate on. Bulbs symbolize hope and the cycle of life and labyrinths have been used for centuries by many cultures around the world to promote healing and meditation. According to
Marteal, something else is clear: “We see this garden as being a beautiful, uplifting and sensory garden for everyone to enjoy.”

Erin Marteal
Ithaca Children’s Garden
enm6@cornell.edu
(607) 272-2292