Overwhelmed Central

Writing this post in bed, with the intention of making sure that you all know that tomorrow’s #PPDSpeakEasy call is cancelled, and explaining why:

Last week was hard on a lot of people in the #ppd community. In response, I called an emergency PPD Speakeasy phone chat that was like a comfort camp. It was sweet and nourishing, and it left me hopeful.

Then came some work on the house. It’s an old house. Something that was supposed to be fixed in one day turned into a week-long mess. It’s not quite over yet.

In the middle of the mess, came Yom Kipurim. The holiest day of the year if you happen to be Jewish. Which I am, but I’ve only started practicing recently, and I’m still figuring out my way around my relationship with God and all the Jewish traditions. So the weekend was spent fasting and praying, two things I have very little experience with. It was hard and amazing. And yes, slightly overwhelming.

And all this has been accompanied by a bit of over-exposure: I learned in the past week, was that seeing my name in print is far more intimidating than seeing my name in pixels:
My name and my work was mentioned in two local papers in one week: one had an article I wrote about my upcoming UnGuilt Trip Class (the article is not online yet, I’ll attache it when it will be), the other a story about my  support groups, for which I was interviewed last June. And it just so happened that the Ithaca Times published this story, the one that starts with the words: “Six years ago, Yael Saar was hospitalized after a suicide attempt…”  just a few short days before the one day of the year in which the whole congregation comes together at temple, and I’m relatively new there, and many people didn’t know much about my work with postpartum depression and my painful past, and there it was, with my picture next to it, this week of all weeks. Aaaakkk!!!  Everybody was really sweet about it at temple, but still, I had plenty of opportunity to practice compassionate discomfort tolerance on myself…

And just to make everything more fun, I am experiencing anxiety again, as I do every Fall. I am using all of the skills I  share here about how to be kind to myself while anxious, and I’m able to handle the anxiety in ways that make it far less painful than it ever was, and will make it go away faster. Walking my talk, I’m using this setback as a teacher, making sure to take notes that will help me teach these skills better. Having anxiety from a place of trust in my recovery is a fascinating experience. I promise to write about it more soon.

So with everything that’s been going on, it’s not really surprising I got sick. Sore throat, stomach upset, headaches, chills. Yep, more compassionate discomfort tolerance practice for me.

The thing that bugs me most is that I’m too sick to hold the monthly PPD SpeakEasy that was scheduled for tomorrow. And I hate that. The support phone chat is my most cherished work and I hate hate hate having to cancel it. I’m grateful that we had a chance to have a call last week, but it wasn’t supposed to be instead, it was supposed to be a bonus. I was hoping to reschedule tomorrow’s call for next week, but the Jewish High Holidays are not over yet, a whole week of celebrations is still ahead of us, and I’m traveling for the entire week after that, so the next SpeakEasy call will have to wait to the second monday of November, which I’m so happy to see it so early in the month: November 8. I hope you will join me then.

Until the next SpeakEasy call, I am practicing putting my oxygen mask on first. I’ll be posting less and tweeting less and writing less and cuddling my children more, and going to bed early. That’s always a challenge, because I’m a night owl. But I must take care of myself now. You know what I mean.

I love you for reading.
Hugs and love, and may the joy be with you.

 

 

9 Responses to Overwhelmed Central
  1. Jenny
    October 16, 2011 | 12:34 am

    Yael, hope you feel better soon. Celebrations are wonderful, but they can be completely overwhelming. I am recovering myself from a rough week at work and a double birthday party for my girls the weekend before. I got to sleep in today, so it was a good opportunity to practice some self care for myself.

  2. Yael
    October 12, 2011 | 2:43 pm

    Exposure is tricky, and I love that both of us have to learn how to stomach it together. Supporting each other thru this is priceless.

  3. Yael
    October 12, 2011 | 2:41 pm

    Can’t belive I’ll see you in less than a month! So excited to go thru that journey with you. hugs right back.

  4. Yael
    October 12, 2011 | 2:40 pm

    Thank you sweet Cristi. I’m trying to practice what I preach… hugs to you.

  5. Yael
    October 12, 2011 | 2:39 pm

    Thank you my dear friend. I was definitely UnGuilting throughout Yom Kipur, and now thru the rest of the high-holidays. plenty of that going on. :)
    love you and miss you. when are you coming to my side of the ocean again?

  6. Tzur
    October 11, 2011 | 4:45 am

    Dearest,
    Feel better and recover now
    (i like that better than recover soon… why wait?)
    By the way, isn’t Yom Kippur a perfect day to practice
    some UnGuilt?

    miss you…

  7. Cristi @ Motherhood Unadorned
    October 11, 2011 | 12:34 am

    Feel better sweet Yael. You MUST care for you first. And I’m so proud to hear you are in print, regardless of how overwhelming that might feel, it’s awesome!
    Cristi @ Motherhood Unadorned recently posted..Where in the world is our mental health?

  8. Rhiannon
    October 10, 2011 | 11:05 pm

    Way to go for practicing what you teach and downshifting a little!

    That’s the hardest part.

    Many hugs to you now and more when I see you in person.

    Love love love love love.

  9. Robin @ Farewell, Stranger
    October 10, 2011 | 9:25 pm

    Me too. Except for the celebrations. That’s a lot, and a lot of it is good but, yes, overwhelming.

    Love you too.
    Robin @ Farewell, Stranger recently posted..Maternity Clothes for the Not Pregnant

Overwhelmed Central

Writing this post in bed, with the intention of making sure that you all know that tomorrow’s #PPDSpeakEasy call is cancelled, and explaining why:

Last week was hard on a lot of people in the #ppd community. In response, I called an emergency PPD Speakeasy phone chat that was like a comfort camp. It was sweet and nourishing, and it left me hopeful.

Then came some work on the house. It’s an old house. Something that was supposed to be fixed in one day turned into a week-long mess. It’s not quite over yet.

In the middle of the mess, came Yom Kipurim. The holiest day of the year if you happen to be Jewish. Which I am, but I’ve only started practicing recently, and I’m still figuring out my way around my relationship with God and all the Jewish traditions. So the weekend was spent fasting and praying, two things I have very little experience with. It was hard and amazing. And yes, slightly overwhelming.

And all this has been accompanied by a bit of over-exposure: I learned in the past week, was that seeing my name in print is far more intimidating than seeing my name in pixels:
My name and my work was mentioned in two local papers in one week: one had an article I wrote about my upcoming UnGuilt Trip Class (the article is not online yet, I’ll attache it when it will be), the other a story about my  support groups, for which I was interviewed last June. And it just so happened that the Ithaca Times published this story, the one that starts with the words: “Six years ago, Yael Saar was hospitalized after a suicide attempt…”  just a few short days before the one day of the year in which the whole congregation comes together at temple, and I’m relatively new there, and many people didn’t know much about my work with postpartum depression and my painful past, and there it was, with my picture next to it, this week of all weeks. Aaaakkk!!!  Everybody was really sweet about it at temple, but still, I had plenty of opportunity to practice compassionate discomfort tolerance on myself…

And just to make everything more fun, I am experiencing anxiety again, as I do every Fall. I am using all of the skills I  share here about how to be kind to myself while anxious, and I’m able to handle the anxiety in ways that make it far less painful than it ever was, and will make it go away faster. Walking my talk, I’m using this setback as a teacher, making sure to take notes that will help me teach these skills better. Having anxiety from a place of trust in my recovery is a fascinating experience. I promise to write about it more soon.

So with everything that’s been going on, it’s not really surprising I got sick. Sore throat, stomach upset, headaches, chills. Yep, more compassionate discomfort tolerance practice for me.

The thing that bugs me most is that I’m too sick to hold the monthly PPD SpeakEasy that was scheduled for tomorrow. And I hate that. The support phone chat is my most cherished work and I hate hate hate having to cancel it. I’m grateful that we had a chance to have a call last week, but it wasn’t supposed to be instead, it was supposed to be a bonus. I was hoping to reschedule tomorrow’s call for next week, but the Jewish High Holidays are not over yet, a whole week of celebrations is still ahead of us, and I’m traveling for the entire week after that, so the next SpeakEasy call will have to wait to the second monday of November, which I’m so happy to see it so early in the month: November 8. I hope you will join me then.

Until the next SpeakEasy call, I am practicing putting my oxygen mask on first. I’ll be posting less and tweeting less and writing less and cuddling my children more, and going to bed early. That’s always a challenge, because I’m a night owl. But I must take care of myself now. You know what I mean.

I love you for reading.
Hugs and love, and may the joy be with you.

 

 

9 Responses to Overwhelmed Central
  1. Jenny
    October 16, 2011 | 12:34 am

    Yael, hope you feel better soon. Celebrations are wonderful, but they can be completely overwhelming. I am recovering myself from a rough week at work and a double birthday party for my girls the weekend before. I got to sleep in today, so it was a good opportunity to practice some self care for myself.

  2. Yael
    October 12, 2011 | 2:43 pm

    Exposure is tricky, and I love that both of us have to learn how to stomach it together. Supporting each other thru this is priceless.

  3. Yael
    October 12, 2011 | 2:41 pm

    Can’t belive I’ll see you in less than a month! So excited to go thru that journey with you. hugs right back.

  4. Yael
    October 12, 2011 | 2:40 pm

    Thank you sweet Cristi. I’m trying to practice what I preach… hugs to you.

  5. Yael
    October 12, 2011 | 2:39 pm

    Thank you my dear friend. I was definitely UnGuilting throughout Yom Kipur, and now thru the rest of the high-holidays. plenty of that going on. :)
    love you and miss you. when are you coming to my side of the ocean again?

  6. Tzur
    October 11, 2011 | 4:45 am

    Dearest,
    Feel better and recover now
    (i like that better than recover soon… why wait?)
    By the way, isn’t Yom Kippur a perfect day to practice
    some UnGuilt?

    miss you…

  7. Cristi @ Motherhood Unadorned
    October 11, 2011 | 12:34 am

    Feel better sweet Yael. You MUST care for you first. And I’m so proud to hear you are in print, regardless of how overwhelming that might feel, it’s awesome!
    Cristi @ Motherhood Unadorned recently posted..Where in the world is our mental health?

  8. Rhiannon
    October 10, 2011 | 11:05 pm

    Way to go for practicing what you teach and downshifting a little!

    That’s the hardest part.

    Many hugs to you now and more when I see you in person.

    Love love love love love.

  9. Robin @ Farewell, Stranger
    October 10, 2011 | 9:25 pm

    Me too. Except for the celebrations. That’s a lot, and a lot of it is good but, yes, overwhelming.

    Love you too.
    Robin @ Farewell, Stranger recently posted..Maternity Clothes for the Not Pregnant