His Pain + My Pain = No SpeakEasy call.

I’m sorry to say that I will not be able to hold the PPD SpeakEasy support phone chat that was scheduled for this coming Tuesday. 

DH and I are both dealing with spinal ouches. His pain is much greater than mine. ‎3 days ago he herniated disc in his lower back. Recovery time is a total crapshoot: it can take a couple of weeks to several months before he is comfortable again. The tension of this situation is causing my neck pain to flare up, so as you can imagine, ours is not a cheerful home right now. I’m not sure which is harder to bear: my own considerable discomfort, or his pain. The former stretches my patience and ability to react kindly, but his pain just tears my heart. He is such a good man, he really does not deserve any pain ever. And I am determined to be as kind to him as possible during his time of need. He has been such a loving caregiver during the worst of my depression, that I am determined to rise up to the occasion, now that he needs me.

With the uncertainty in my household right now, I can’t even offer an alternative date at this point.
I’m sorry to have to cancel this call, I know many of you look forward to it very much. I hope you understand that I have to respect my capacity (or in this case, lack thereof) during this tough time for my family.
As you can imagine, this triggers my own anxiety (but of course), and I am definitely resorting to all of the coping skills in my kooky jar… I am beyond grateful for having these tools; when I remember to use them I know that with if I continue to respect capacity, make a commitment to self-care and self-kindness, and to giving myself permission to feel my true feelings instead of fighting them, and lick my wounds when I hurt, this rough patch will not lead to a slide back into depression. Sure, this trust is peppered by moments of panic, but I recognize them for what they are, use my tools, and let them be heard and move on. So the result is that I’m in trust enough of the time…
Please send healing thoughts and prayers. Thank you.

 

2 Responses to His Pain + My Pain = No SpeakEasy call.
  1. Gail
    April 18, 2012 | 6:01 pm

    First of all I want to say excellent blog! I had a quick question in which I’d like to ask if you do not mind. I was curious to find out how you center yourself and clear your head before writing. I’ve had difficulty clearing my thoughts in getting my thoughts out there. I truly do enjoy writing however it just seems like the first 10 to 15 minutes are usually wasted just trying to figure out how to begin. Any ideas or hints? Thank you!
    Gail recently posted..Michaels Coupons A Crafters Savings Ticket

  2. Anneliese
    April 8, 2012 | 8:49 pm

    Holding you and yours in the Light. Hoping the twinkle lights of trust and occasional bits of more ease string together to get you through. Just let me know if I can be of help. Hang in there Diamond Sister (diamond as in you rock hard)!

His Pain + My Pain = No SpeakEasy call.

I’m sorry to say that I will not be able to hold the PPD SpeakEasy support phone chat that was scheduled for this coming Tuesday. 

DH and I are both dealing with spinal ouches. His pain is much greater than mine. ‎3 days ago he herniated disc in his lower back. Recovery time is a total crapshoot: it can take a couple of weeks to several months before he is comfortable again. The tension of this situation is causing my neck pain to flare up, so as you can imagine, ours is not a cheerful home right now. I’m not sure which is harder to bear: my own considerable discomfort, or his pain. The former stretches my patience and ability to react kindly, but his pain just tears my heart. He is such a good man, he really does not deserve any pain ever. And I am determined to be as kind to him as possible during his time of need. He has been such a loving caregiver during the worst of my depression, that I am determined to rise up to the occasion, now that he needs me.

With the uncertainty in my household right now, I can’t even offer an alternative date at this point.
I’m sorry to have to cancel this call, I know many of you look forward to it very much. I hope you understand that I have to respect my capacity (or in this case, lack thereof) during this tough time for my family.
As you can imagine, this triggers my own anxiety (but of course), and I am definitely resorting to all of the coping skills in my kooky jar… I am beyond grateful for having these tools; when I remember to use them I know that with if I continue to respect capacity, make a commitment to self-care and self-kindness, and to giving myself permission to feel my true feelings instead of fighting them, and lick my wounds when I hurt, this rough patch will not lead to a slide back into depression. Sure, this trust is peppered by moments of panic, but I recognize them for what they are, use my tools, and let them be heard and move on. So the result is that I’m in trust enough of the time…
Please send healing thoughts and prayers. Thank you.

 

2 Responses to His Pain + My Pain = No SpeakEasy call.
  1. Gail
    April 18, 2012 | 6:01 pm

    First of all I want to say excellent blog! I had a quick question in which I’d like to ask if you do not mind. I was curious to find out how you center yourself and clear your head before writing. I’ve had difficulty clearing my thoughts in getting my thoughts out there. I truly do enjoy writing however it just seems like the first 10 to 15 minutes are usually wasted just trying to figure out how to begin. Any ideas or hints? Thank you!
    Gail recently posted..Michaels Coupons A Crafters Savings Ticket

  2. Anneliese
    April 8, 2012 | 8:49 pm

    Holding you and yours in the Light. Hoping the twinkle lights of trust and occasional bits of more ease string together to get you through. Just let me know if I can be of help. Hang in there Diamond Sister (diamond as in you rock hard)!